Through the month of October, we've been talking about dialogue as the example Jesus modeled for lifting up the dignity of disenfranchised people and for bringing back into community people who have previously been excluded outright or who have been relegated to the margins. In this post, we will talk about a certain type of dialogue in regards to race in America. After all, race is one of the primary ways that society is divided, in particular the Christian community.
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A lot of white people avoid talking about race in America on general principle.
In some ways, that is understandable. It is seen as a high-risk, low-reward scenario. The risk is high that someone could be offended or that one's personal work or reputation could be jeopardized, and the prospects of making the situation of race any better for anyone seem pretty low.
So it's easy to see why people of goodwill opt out.
So it's easy to see why people of goodwill opt out.
I don't think that's the right approach.
I take great solace from the poem Do It Anyway (copied below) (attributed to Mother Thersea but originally written by Dr. Kent Keith): I think it's something we need to do anyway.
If the majority of us who have any sensitivities or empathies around race stay silent, who will do the talking? Surely, white supremacists will show no hesitation. And young people who are vulnerable to this message may not hear a counter narrative.
There is a chance we will be seen as dominating the discussion. That is not something to take lightly. But if we don't talk, the burden will fall on our African-American sisters and brothers who run the risk of re-traumatizing themselves trying to explain race *yet again* to an unsympathetic audience.
There is a chance we will be seen as trying to make the conversation about ourselves, trying to pat ourselves on the back for thinking we are "woke" or for trying to appease our white guilt.
There is a chance we will stay something stupid or at the very least insensitive.
All of these are serious considerations. That is why we must enter the conversation as sensitively as possible and to listen, listen, listen, and then listen again, as one my colleagues frequently says. But enter it we must--knowing we will fail, knowing we will say stupid things and knowing there may be doubts as to our integrity, selfishness or value to the conversation.
If we can allow a bit of grace for each other, when we do air out those unconscious biases and say things that genuinely *are* insensitive, we can lovingly correct each other. If those thoughts are never spoken out loud, they may linger for years and continue to infect our perspectives and decisions. If we speak them out loud, there is a chance they can be challenged.
After all, I remember a time when I was less woke that I am today. And I am hopeful for a future when I am more woke than I am right now. As easy as it is to condemn my fellow white Americans for their insensitivities, I have to remember how easy it is to have them.
I seriously doubt how successfully we can scold people into a change of heart. It can make me feel good in the short term but what good is it if, well, no good comes from it?
After all, God loved the world into existence, Christ loved the world to its redemption and the Holy Spirit continually loves us in the process of sanctification. If that weren't enough, Jesus told us the first and foremost commandment is to love one another, up to an including our very enemies. How could we see anything other than love as the vehicle for change?
All things equal, I do believe it is better to talk about race than not talk about it. Please understand, there absolutely *are* risks in talking about race. We have to continuously take personal inventory and be always consciously on the alert for dominating the conversation. We have to lift up African American voices, as they are the ones directly living with the effects of racism and whose voices have been silenced all too often. But we white folks are the ones who can use our privilege and our relationships to have the tough conversations and make the tough decisions in the personal, private and public spaces that we inhabit.
After all, many African Americans report feeling exhaustion over talking about race, and we've been asked to do use our privilege to make the situation better, and that includes talking about race, especially with other white people. Just be sensitive to how you are doing it, such as making a priority of listening to the experiences of the black community and avoiding the traps of making it too much about ourselves, but do it we must.
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
by Mother Theresa and/or Dr Kent Keith
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