First Comes Gratitude, Second Comes Discipleship

There is something fundamentally antithetical between a God who loves and accepts us all unconditionally and a church culture that pushes us to belong, behave, conform and suppress ourselves.

"For God so loved the world...."
— John 3:16

Those words from the Gospel of John echo throughout Christian history. They are repeated like a mantra by many. They are some of the most famous words from Scripture.

There is good reason for this: All of life is a gift. All that God has done is a gift. Everything God does has been done out of love. God loved the world into existence and continues to love it through its redemption and sanctification.

Preachers love to preach John 3:16. It would be wonderful if more were preaching this message with—and this is the most important part—no strings attached.  Because—by definition—that's what a gift is.

By definition.

Our proper response to a gift, then, is gratitude.

Gratitude is, perhaps, the only appropriate first response.

We tend to forget that. Let's face it, traditional Christianity (any of the main denominations) does not have a reputation for being accepting of God's gifts at face value. If you mention Christianity to anyone on the street, probably one of the first items to pop into their mind would be the "rules" and the "control."

Just to give an example, I saw a pastor the other day in the grocery story. He's a nice guy and my family has been to his church. But I avoided him when I saw him. Why?  Because I wasn't in the mood for dealing with the "push." You know what I'm talking about:  Little hints and jabs about how he hasn't seen us at his church, the implication that we should be there and other pressures to join his congregation and augment his numbers.

The thoughts that comes to my mind are: "Can't you just accept me as I am right now—without trying to push for a change in my behavior before you even know me? I'm good as I am—get to know me right here, right now, as I am. For God so loves me this way . . . why can't you?"

He's a nice guy, but I recognize the mini-colonizer in his actions. I realize he wants company in his church, and I realize he wants money in his collection plates. But the paradox is he might get more of both if he quit trying so hard. There's nothing wrong with an open invitation . . . if it is truly open. But when I start feeling peddled like a hot piece in a meat market, I instantly recognize the stink and get away. I think:  You don't want me in my full dignity.

What I really hear many preachers saying is:  Be different. Do more of this. Do less of that. Give more. Bend more. Think this way. Act that way. Come to my church. Give to the collection. Be a facsimile of me. Alter your life according to my specifications.

I get it:  There are obligations, responsibilities and commitments as part of Christian discipleship. And it is the duty of a preacher to challenge us. But Christianity has a long track record of frontloading those factors and downplaying something much more foundational: Gratitude. Acceptance. Love. That is, after all, the Good News!

God so loves the world. We are okay. I'm okay. You're okay. Let's start there.

Just as we are.

We can let that just be.

And then perhaps we may be so overcome with joy at this gift that we want to gift it to others—to pay it forward.

That's actually why the collection plate has been traditionally passed on Sunday since the time of the early Church. Sunday is the day of rest and gratitude. Once we have had space to reflect on all that we have been given, it is only natural to want to give to others. My cup runneth over (Psalm 23). 

All Christian charity and all Christian discipleship comes out of that gratitude: Because I have been so loved, therefore I want to love others out of nothing but sheer gratitude. We as church should never attempt to force that—we have to simply trust in that. Trust that loving and accepting others is primarily we need to do and we need not worry on how much of that comes back to us in the collection plate. That's God's business, not ours to try to control.

And then once we get that, once we are more solidly rooted in that gratitude, then and only then does it make sense to talk about obligations and responsibilities. Then, and only then, should we talk about the yoke of discipleship. Otherwise, it's just peddling a kind of works-based righteousness and a denial of the goodness of God's gifts. After all, if we want people to come to our churches, we should first give them a reason for coming before demanding membership dues.

This is why, I believe, Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love one another—up to and including even our enemies, everyone in our community and everyone in between. Love is the most primary act we should be making and our primary stance in every situation. It is the greatest commandment for a reason. Once we begin there, then and only then can we talk about the messiness of life, the hard decisions and perhaps even some tough love exclusions. But we should only do that if we are loving first and foremost, as Jesus instructed. We are to love first and foremost and then pepper in the rules and obligations as they fit—not the other way around.

We are to love first and foremost. Because, after all, that's what God does.

There are some, of course, who have discovered the love of God the other way: Through the yoke of discipleship they have found the love that was guiding them from behind. I respect that it may work that way for some, but it's a very clumsy method that perhaps alienates many more than it converts. The reason, I believe, is because it's hard to teach love and acceptance through disciplines that fundamentally do not love or respect the natural created dignity of each person. In that scenario, people discover God in spite of religion, not because of it.

From Birmingham Jail, MLK's Challenge to Us Today

Martin Luther King Jr's Letter from Birmingham Jail is often touted as a defining milestone in the Civil Rights Movement. Indeed, it is a stunning portrait of the human spirit. MLK is literally behind bars, yet writing with a spirit of freedom and vision unknown to many of his contemporaries. He wrote with the kind of boldness reminiscent of the Apostle Paul, who also knew something about writing of freedom while behind prison walls.

I had the great privilege to visit the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute in Birmingham, AL, just a couple weeks ago. I urge anyone who can go to take the time to visit. Contained inside are the actual prison doors of the cell in which MLK wrote his infamous letter. There also on the wall hangs the reason for the letter--if you are unfamiliar with its history, you might think the impetus for the letter was probably some rantings by the KKK or other segregationists. Instead, it was a letter from lukewarm, moderate white church leaders, most of whom were probably somewhat sympathetic to the issues of the Civil Rights Movement. Those church leaders basically told MLK to calm down and relax. He was pushing too hard as an "outsider," they said. The methods of nonviolent civil disobedience were too disruptive. They argued he should work for change more slowly and accept what isn't perfect in the meantime.

You can find a copy and transcript of the letter here. It stings to read it. And for good reason. I cringed when I saw a Catholic bishop (my own denomination) as one of the signers. There were Protestant, Catholic and Jewish signers.

It took me a while to find this letter online. Either my internet research skills are lacking or else there aren't many traces of it to be found. The latter is understandable. Who wants to be reminded of being on the wrong side of history?  It was MLK who penned the masterpiece--that's something to celebrate. He was the hero who faced incredible adversity to lead one of the most stunning movements for change the world had ever seen. Who wants to be known as the group that tried to discourage one of history's greatest leaders during a time when he needed support the most?  It's not exactly something to put on one's resume.

But before we are quick to judge the lackluster faith and disappointing hesitation of the white church leaders, we must realize this is a perennial issue. This was not a unique circumstance that was only seen in 1963 Birmingham. Today, right now, there are people in my community, my church, my family and my world who tell us to slow down in our pursuit of justice and peace. They tell us not to make too many waves. They tell us that true progress happens gradually. And sometimes they are right. But the problem is that if we waited for these voices to give us the green light and tell us "now is the time for action," odds are that time would never come. In many circumstances, on many issues, there is never a moment when change is easy and comfortable. Sometimes being told to slow down is nothing but an excuse to stall indefinitely, and I sincerely wonder if those folks who say it really want change at all.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 -Martin Luther King Jr.

The following are four areas of great moral importance in the U.S. demanding immediate action where we are often told the same things those eight pastors told MLK:  Slow down. Work for gradual change. Accept it if solutions are not "perfect." There are other issues in addition to these.

Racism. Despite the gains of the Civil Rights Movement, racism is a clear and ever-present reality in the U.S. to this day. It results in black bodies lying dead in the streets, in mass incarceration, in denial of opportunities and systemic poverty. We need change and we need it now! Yet, people tell Black Lives Matter and other activists the same things that these moderates told MLK--slow down, your methods are too disruptive.

Healthcare. The U.S. spends twice as much as any other nation per person on healthcare but ends up ranking only #37 in the world by the World Health Organization. Millions have no access to the system and many thousands have lost their lives or have gone into bankruptcy trying to pay medical bills.

The math is simple: We pay more. We get less. No corporation could survive for long with that business plan, yet this is how we as a people fund our healthcare. It seems hard to believe that anyone could deny these obvious facts, but millions of dollars of insurance money and hard lobbying have done what they were intended to do: They have created fear and warped perceptions. They have convinced many of us that "it can't be done," even though nearly every other developed nation on earth has figured out how to do better for less.

So where is the leadership to change this? All we hear is "Now is not the time." "Don't push too hard." "Change happens gradually." You might think we hear that from conservatives who are against universal healthcare, but those statements are often coming from left-leaning political leadership. A lot of people give those Democrats the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing all that can be done for healthcare at the moment. However, given the incredible expenditures on healthcare lobbying, you have to start wondering if these moderates have any real intention of changing our healthcare system at all. You have to speak your vision and name your goals out loud before you can achieve them.

Climate Change. Scientists are clear that there is a very 12 year window for the human race to avoid catastrophic climate change. Yet, even the most aggressive proposals to reduce carbon emissions seem to fall far short. Case in point: Germany recently announced it would phase out all coal powered plants in 20 years. We may not need completely eliminate all fossil fuel consumption to meet our climate goals, but it is disheartening when we are told "it can't be done any quick." Why not?  Of course it can. Other places are moving quicker than we are. How can they do it and not us?

Immigration. People say, "just do it legally!" However, there are also forces in play making legal immigration more difficult to achieve for select groups. It is virtually impossible for some people. Desperate people simply cannot wait for laws to change, especially when there seems little chance of that change happening anytime soon. There are families that would never see their loved ones if they waited until every document was in order before crossing. Instead of telling immigrants to wait, perhaps we should be taking decisive action to solve our immigration fiasco which does not respect human dignity. It only creates a vulnerable population who can be easily exploited for cheap labor.

Conclusion

Every reasonable person knows that change does indeed take time and there may be some strategic compromises along the way, at least temporarily. But real leaders come right out and state their vision. They name their goals. They point the way to where they want to go. They weather the resistance along the way. You don't have to guess where they really stand. Ultimately, we have to decide if our actions are more like Martin Luther King Jr.--who we like to idolize--or whether they are more like the eight white moderate clergymen who urged MLK to "show restraint."

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.